okay I need to stop being so self-deprecating and insecure because I’m smart and pretty and I can be funny sometimes and I’m a perfectly nice person so there’s no point in being dumb and whiny all of the time because it’s passive aggressive and doesn’t accomplish anything and I need to use my words.
When a friend or group of friends that is important to me has a vested interest in something, I tend to give it a chance because I figure if it’s important to them it’s worth pursuing or at least checking out. I think it’s a good quality to have because it shows a certain degree of like, empathy, I guess? I mean, I want to understand why they’re so interested and I want to feel that way too because it makes me closer to them in a way. I’ve been criticized for that in the past because some people have thought that I’m just trying to make points with others and that I’m just pretending to like things for the sake of receiving positive attention but that’s not it at all.
I was kinda torn about it before but the more I think about it I’m about 90% sure I want to go to grad school out-of-state.
I’m in one of those moods where I feel generally unlikable.
Sometimes I think about people I was friends with in high school that I don’t really talk to anymore but I know I would probably still get along with and I wonder if things would have been different if I would have focused more on friendships that were actually a good thing for me and yeah it’s weird. It makes me kinda want to try to contact/see people or at least talk to them more but it’s a little odd at this stage. I feel like I’m at a bit of a friendship crossroads right now because I only have a few good friends that I’ve met through Berkeley and most of my friends from home are either younger than me or don’t really come home for breaks anymore so I almost feel like I need new ones? I dunno.
wow I amaze myself sometimes with how jealous and irrational I can be. I just imagined an entire scenario playing out solely on the basis of a reply.
This is an honest question that I’m sure will make me look like an idiot but what is there to do besides watch TV?
It’s no wonder I’m such a worrywart because I look at my mom and she’s the QUEEN of worrying. I keep thinking about my trip and feeling incredibly excited yet paralyzed by anxiety and when I finally calm myself down my mom comes in and tells me how I need a passport holder that I can wear under my clothes so I don’t get robbed and to be careful not to drink too much and how I need Euros and then I just want to hide under my bed and surrender my plane tickets.
